


"And You Will Enjoy Her"

by Irrealia



Series: Tumblr Ficlets - Bagginshield Edition [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Khuzdul, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bottom Thorin, Consort Bilbo Baggins, Fluff, Hobbits in Erebor, M/M, hopefully Bilbo abuses it more than the author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5845267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irrealia/pseuds/Irrealia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In response to <a href="http://alkjira.tumblr.com/post/138229221129/dont-imagine-bilbo-trying-to-impress-thorin-with">Alkjira's bit of meta</a>:</p><blockquote>
  <p>"Don’t imagine Bilbo trying to impress Thorin with his newfangled Khuzdul skills. Don’t imagine Bilbo screwing up and accidentally saying something like “I eat mighty rocks”. Don’t imagine Thorin trying (and failing) not to laugh at his adorable consort. Don’t imagine Bilbo sulking and Thorin kissing him happy again."</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	"And You Will Enjoy Her"

“ _Ag zâkhlibizu_ ,” Bilbo whispered into Thorin’s ear, wrapping his arms enthusiastically around his king and lover as soon as he returned to their chambers for the evening.

Thorin blinked quizzically, even as he returned the embrace. “Have you been training with Dwalin?” he asked mildly. “For as brave and as cunning as you are, _'ibinê_ , I do not think you can even lift me to begin with.”

“I wasn’t planning to lift you,” said Bilbo, only mildly perplexed at Thorin’s response. He gamely tried again. “ _Ag zâkhlibizu, ra zamahsamilidiya._ ”

“Who?” said Thorin, taking a step back, placing his hands on Bilbo’s shoulders. “Are we having visitors?” He rather hoped they weren’t. It had been a long day, and his dearest wish was a quiet (or not so quiet) evening in.

Bilbo closed the gap between them, pressing himself against Thorin’s broad chest and tugging off his surcoat. “Of course we’re not having visitors, you great idiot,” he said fondly, too fond even to think of a more creative insult. “I know your language is supposed to be a secret,” he continued, voice dropping lower, “but if the consort of a king can’t learn it, then who can?” With the surcoat off, he started unlacing the tunic beneath, running his nimble hands over the coarse, silvered hair that his labours exposed. “You don’t have to pretend you can’t understand me.”

Thorin sighed in mixed contentment and frustration as Bilbo tugged off his tunic and undershirt in one go, leaving him bare to the waist. Bilbo leaned in to rub himself against the plane of his chest almost immediately, inhaling deeply and enjoying the freedom to run his hands all over the vast (to him) expanse of dwarven flesh he had uncovered. Thorin tilted his head down, a rueful smile playing against Bilbo’s ear. “ _Umralê_ , I understood you perfectly, but you did say you were going to drop me.”

He paused. Bilbo froze against him.

“And that I was going to enjoy her.”

At that Bilbo’s face flushed red with embarrassment. Thorin couldn’t help laughing softly at the sudden change in his demeanour. Bilbo might be embarrassed, but his embarrassment was adorable, and he leaned down to kiss the top of his consort’s head affectionately, nuzzling his beard into Bilbo’s unruly, growing curls. “Come,” he murmured against his head, and then without letting Bilbo go, he shuffled the two of them towards the bed, flopping into it sideways and tugging Bilbo along with him. He rolled over onto his back, pulling Bilbo flush against him, so that they could cuddle whilst Bilbo continued to shut out the rest of the room in embarrassment. “Come, _umralê, zâktibthizu_.”  He punctuated the words with kisses to the top of Bilbo’s head, hoping they’d carry his meaning in and of themselves.

They didn’t, of course, but the kisses prompted Bilbo to look up. His face was still flushed, but his eyes bright with curiosity and maybe, just maybe, something else. “What does that mean?” he asked softly, much less sure of his language abilities now

“It means, ‘I’ll teach you.’”

Bilbo pushed himself up so that he loomed over Thorin, at least, as much as a very average hobbit could ever loom over a rather tall dwarf. His right hand trailed down Thorin’s still-bare chest, to the laces of his trousers. He gave them an absent little tug, then reached lower down to cup his beloved’s tool through the fine, thick velvet of the fabric. Thorin groaned, and Bilbo took that as a signal to move even lower, giving his stones a quick squeeze and then moving even lower, to rub at the secret door beneath them.

“And if I had wanted to tell you that I planned to have my way with you?” Bilbo smirked, working his fingers in smug little circles over the thick nap of the velvet with one hand while the other hand toyed with finally untying the laces at the front of his trousers.

“ _Mahal_ ,” moaned Thorin, as Bilbo’s hands toyed with him front and back at the same time. “ _Targ Durinul!_ ”

“I know those ones already!” Bilbo laughed. And then making quick work of the laces on Thorin’s trousers, he didn’t give his indulgent dwarf much of a chance to say anything coherent for the next long while.

**Author's Note:**

> Khuzdul Glossary:  
> Ag zâkhlibizu = “I will soon drop you.” Bilbo was probably trying to say something like Ag zâblakrukizu (“I will soon have my way with you”) and got the consonants mixed up. And forgot the second half of the word. This happens with foreign languages sometimes, and I think we can forgive him.
> 
> 'Ibinê = “my jewel”
> 
> Ra zamahsamilidiya = “And you will enjoy her”
> 
> Umralê = “my beloved”
> 
> Zâktibthizu = “I’ll teach you.” 
> 
> Targ Durinul! = “Durin’s Beard!”
> 
> —
> 
> Credit to The Dwarrow Scholar for Neo-Khuzdul, may their beard grow ever longer. I spent a long time looking for triconsonantal roots that Bilbs could've plausibly confused. In the end I decided on
> 
> [BLK]: might,force (vigour/mettle), authority, forcer, to show muscles (flex),to strong arm, to have one's way with, to force (to obligate), to impose 
> 
> (Bilbo, of course, means it in a sexy, consensual top!Bilbo way.)
> 
> and
> 
> [KhLB]: shaft (for air), vent, dropper, to drop


End file.
